Etiquette for Girls (1)

There is a new book called "Etiquette for Girls" which deals with the kind of things any 18 to 35 year old woman might need advice on (we are talking mainly about casual sex). It's causing a stir :)
Some extracts...

Infidelity
Before getting involved, consider the risks and what is at stake. If you're still powerless to resist, keep the truth to yourself: gossip has wings, and observers will pour scorn on your transgressions. When cheating on a husband/partner, be sure to cover your tracks. Destroy receipts you cannot explain away, delete incriminating text messages as soon as they're received, and be wary of e-mail. No secret is ever totally watertight, but try not to make things difficult for yourself: avoid using elaborate lies, and be wary of using friends as alibis without their permission beforehand. If you are the "other woman" remember not to get too involved: a married man rarely leaves his wife, and even if he did, he could well do the same thing to you. In general, don't be reckless with other people's hearts, and don't put up with other people who are reckless with yours.

Office romance and sleaze
Many a true love has been discovered at work, but it's a risky business. A bit like dropping a big boulder into a small pond, it will always create waves: you may end up being dumped in the office, and could even get fired. Only go public once your liaison has become regular reality. A well-timed newscast to colleagues may cause blushes, but it will also clear the air - presuming you've checked the small print to make sure an office affair isn't a sackable offence. If romance turns sour, be mature, keep a stiff upper lip and switch to auto-pilot. Give it time and hope to conquer the cringe phase. Should an unwanted suitor appear, act cool and be utterly unimpressed. If predatory behaviour persists, tell him calmly that you feel uncomfortable and (in extremis) be prepared to inform your superiors.

One-night stands
The one-night-stand (ONS) is a bit like fast food: tempting, but with nauseating afterthoughts. Make health and safety a priority. Always try to invite him back to yours, but if you insist on playing away, text a friend to inform them of your whereabouts. Avoid dark-alley gropery, and unladylike fumbling in the back of a cab. Once home, leave him to select a CD from your collection while you embark on a turbo-tidy. In the bedroom, forget about your normal night-time routine and leave pyjamas in their drawer. Discuss the necessaries to avoid planting any love children or disease, and you're away. If you're at his, the ONS isn't over until the following morning's "walk of shame" home in last night's outfit. Steel yourself and hold your head up high. At yours, offer him breakfast and (assuming you want no more of him) say that your mother is on her way round.

(You guys shocked? There's more...)