Chaotic funeral

First time ever I got myself alone to watch a movie.

Since it's a beautiful sunday afternoon, nothing to do, friends with other plans, decided to get into the car and drive down to the center. Parked the car and walked to see if there was anything funny at the cinema. Realising that 'Death at a Funeral' was on in 45 mins, bought the ticket (with the embarracement of the cashier shouting from his mic, One ticket?) and waited in Plaza Sant'Ana for the 45 mins to pass by. Sat on a bench, watching people go by, got a suntan and listened to the 'Beach Boys' from the portable radio from this guy sitting behind me...What an atmosphere! If I closed my eyes, I could easily imagine I was watching surfers glide the waves while I was lying on the sand... Just the smoke from passing cars eluded this illusion.

Got to the cinema and next to me sat 4 old ladies. One of them, already at the presentation of the trailers, was snoring really loud, which made everyone stare back, and there was I.

The film was hilarious, pure black humour, true Brit com. I truly reccommend it, honest. You roll out of your chair with Simon, totally high on acid.

I promise it's really funny, go and watch it!

Injustice

Oddly enough, just realised that a few of my recent visitors reached my blog through "I lick your icecream and lollipop" words...

It's not fair! I can't be reachable just by that! I can't believe it :=)

Car wash, yeah yeah...

Hurrah, this is the 300th post! Seems quite a lot, hey?

Anyways, yesterday went to the car wash and decided to wash it by myself, without using the tunnel. I've used the pressure wash and behind me there was a large line of cars waiting. Mostly were guys. I felt quite observed indeed. Why did I feel like I was washing my Bichinho like her?

Oddities on saturday

Illustration found here.

What to do in Madrid on a hot Saturday, alone? Everyone is on holiday...

* Well, first of all read the news and the oddities section, like the one of the New Zealand couple who wanted to name their newborn son as 4Real! They decided for the name after seeing the unborn baby on the ultrasound scan and realizing their baby was 'for real'. They're having a hard time with the Registry, as 4Real isn't being accepted and they must choose another name for the baby. They came up with Superman, but they say they'll call the baby 4Real, no matter what! :)

* Last month, after 13 years of persecution in Spain, 'The Loner' was arrested in Portugal when he was trying to rob yet another bank. Spain's most wanted thief, saw himself as a Robin Hood-style figure and said he robbed banks only because they stole from the public. :)

* A giant ''LEGO'' man has been washed up on a Dutch beach but no one knows where it came from or what it is. Read it here and see the video of Mr Ego Leonard. :)

* Footage purporting to show Russian explorers claiming the seafloor beneath the North Pole was in fact a scene from the 1997 film, Titanic. It took a 13-year-old Finnish boy to call a local newspaper pointing out that the footage looked identical to that in the film. :)

See you later!

My DNA....

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

How cool is this? This slide shows my choices about a handful of things, art to favourite treat... Have a go and find out a lot about youself, just by choosing images that relate most to your personality. Love it!

Swimming and holidays

Swimming pool... Yeap, my swimming pool season will start today - after all 35c outside is already demanding some sort of action, other than lounging motionless on the sofa. And since I'm lucky enough to be part of the small elite group in Madrid who lives in a nice condominium, I might as well use it, no?

Also, I'm also going to buy a nice and small digital camera - well, my parents are, since they've run out of ideas for my b'day gift. Y yo encantada!!!

And in 5 days, I'm off for my short but well deserved holidays!

And...yesterday I've cut a chunk of hair, like 5 cm! What a drama, right??? :)

(Just keeping you posted on my news, since nothing else of interest is recentely happening! Apart from my 2 friends who were sent to Kuwait and to Malaysia and who keep me informed, I have no other news worth mentioning here...)

Fiesta Ibizenca

On Friday we went to a birthday party, by the swimming pool on this very nice house. As we arrived, we got shocked: everyone was wearing white, from head to toe. Obviously, everyone noticed how we broke the rules, by not abiding to the strict and implicit code. Yes, implicit because the invitation didn't refer to white garments, but to Ibiza. How on Earth should we have known that a Fiesta Ibizenca means White? Well, we were the obvious rebels, even though we were foreign, but that didn't help us being forgiven, the stares of the guys with white moccasin shoes and white transparent trousers didn't fool us, they were totally pissed off at us. We didn't have to embarrass ourselves :)

It's hot!

Guys, going to the gym in a hot day like this is a bit of a torture I know, but this is just the beginning of some hot 3 months, when breathing fresh air is a commodity and a haven. My bichinho is equipped with AC, and damn right too! It shouldn't even be an option, but a special mandatory requirement to have AC standard here in Madrid. Everywhere! My apartment doesn't have one of those big AC machines hanging on a window, but luckily I really do not need it, as we are facing north, i.e., the sun sets on our left, so we never really have it straight on our faces boiling the room... It can even get a bit chilly (and this is my best kept secret, as this adds value to any house in this city!).

I don't even know what is worse, to be freezing in your office all day, sneezing all your 8 hour long workday, or to come out to the heat of the street and be totally cooked in quick mode... Hmmmm....

Tinky Winky is gay!

Long gone are the days where innocence was a ever-present. Tinky Winky from the Telly Tubbies has been branded as a homosexual because he carries a “hand bag” and so the Polish Children's Rights Commissioner Ewa Sowinska wants him banned from tv. Apparentely poor Tinky Winky, the purple one, is promoting homosexuality!
How I miss my childhood days!

Yupiiiii!

Remember me saying that I've applied for my dream job?

Well....I'm invited to their Assessment Day!!!!!!

If this go well, then: 'candidates who fit the profile will be invited to participate in the selective training which takes place in Madrid. Finally those that pass the training will be hired.'

This went really quick and I guess I sort of deserved this push up, as work nowadays has been hell! I guess it all comes round.

Just a tip on this crazy job: it involves travelling for 11 months a year....


Indeed, I'm CRAAAZZZZZYYY!

Nutella, the best!

Found under the category The best way to get fat Nutella is the best.

On any given day, you can get over 3.5 million Nutella mentions on the internet. And in Italy, there's even a MyNutella.it page where you can exchange compliments about the spread with other unconditional fans.

This I found in The Best Stuff in the World! Vote for yours!

Golf mania

Yesterday, we went to the golf course in the posh area of Madrid. The intention was for me to try and learn it, as the guys are already almost professionals with their 13 club sets... So, there I was, learning all about the positions, the strikes, the clubs' range, the speed and direction of the balls. Basically, it was great, even though I had their gloves and clubs (all much too big for me). But learning with inadequate equipment is no news for me (skying, windsurfing, kitesurfing...all of these I dared to try and learn with equipment less than fit for me, but even so I went for it and when I finally got the right stuff, everything seemed much easier!).

At the end of the practice, after we knocked 3 whole baskets of balls, around 50 balls each, we were sore and tired. Today my shoulders hurt, but the feeling of shooting a ball across the grass across more than 80 meters, that's cool. My favourite clubs was nr 6 and nr 7. I have 11 more to practice with!

Friday feeling...

I want to finish this week... Bad mood and silly headache on a Friday afternoon? Booh!

My dream

Joke of the day

Miscellaneous terms definitions:

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

Learn how to...

Trash the house!

The 'let's trash the house party' invitation was obedientely taken by the more than 200 guests.

This was a party invitation posted on the internet by a 17-year old girl who took advantage of her parents absence to have fun. Little did she knew that the family house was to be left in shambles and her parents had to land in temporary accomodation until the house is professionally cleaned and put back together. Read it here.

It had to be Portuguese...

In London, a restaurant was fined after fiery sausage explodes at the table. The flaming chorizo looked appetising until the waiter decided to top up the sausage dish with a dash more rum — then it exploded at a packed table.

It could be funny, had it not left a woman with horrible burns all over her face and hands.

These chorizos, a bit too hot, perhaps?

Mondays

I'm off to the gym.


Busy Monday: couldn't sleep last night, so today didn't get up on my full energy potencial


Then, got at work a bit late


Then, on the lift, tidying myself up, my pantyhose got a hole


Will Monday end peacefully?

Homens!

BULA DO HOMEM

Indicações:

Homem é recomendado para mulheres portadoras de SMS (Síndrome da Mulher Sozinha). Homem é eficaz no controle do desânimo, da ansiedade, irritabilidade, mau-humor, insónia etc.

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Posologia e Modo de Usar:

Homem deve ser usado três vezes por semana. (só ???) Não desaparecendo os sintomas, aumente a dosagem ou procure outro. Homem é apropriado para uso externo e interno, dependendo da necessidade.

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Precauções:

Mantenha longe do alcance de amigas (vizinhas solitárias, loiras e/ou morenas sorridentes, etc). É desaconselhável o uso imediatamente após as refeições.

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Apresentação:

Mini, Max, Super, Mega, Plus, Super Mega Max Plus e "Oh meuDeus!!!".

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Conduta na Overdose:

O uso excessivo de Homem pode produzir dores abdominais, entorses, contraturas lombares, assim como ardor na região pélvica. Recomenda-se banhos de assento, repouso e contar vantagem prá melhor amiga...

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Efeitos Colaterais:

O uso inadequado de Homem pode acarretar gravidez ou acessos de ciúmes. O uso concomitante de produtos da mesma espécie pode causar enjoo e fadiga crónica

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Prazo de Validade:

O número do lote e data de fabricação encontram-se na cédula de identidade e no cartão de crédito.

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Composição:

ATENÇÃO: Não contém SIMANCOL.

Cuidado!!! Existem no mercado algumas marcas falsificadas, com embalagem de qualidade, mas que ao ser aberta apresenta um produto inócuo ou prejudicial. Ou seja, produto que além de não apresentar efeito positivo pode agravar os sintomas.

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Instruções para o Perfeito Funcionamento de Um Homem:

1. Ao abrir a embalagem, faça uma cara neutra; não se mostre muito empolgada com o produto. Se ficar muito seguro de si, o homem não funciona muito bem, vive dando defeito.

2. Guarde em lugar fresco e seguro (pois é frágil e facilmente contaminável).

3. Deixe fora do alcance de pseudo-amigas.

4. Para ligar, basta uns beijinhos no pescoço pela manhã, para desligar basta uma noite de sexo (ele dorme como uma pedra e nem dá boa noite - falta de educação é defeito de fábrica).

5. Programe-o para assinar talões de cheques sem reclamar.

6- Carregue as baterias três vezes por dia: café, almoço e jantar.

ATENÇÃO:

Homem não tem garantia de fábrica e todas as espécies são sujeitas a incontáveis defeitos (falhas de carácter, falta de personalidade, futilidade, instabilidade emocional, imaturidade, egoísmo e "mania de maria vai com os outros" são algumas das falhas mais comuns).

A solução é ir trocando até que se ache o modelo próximo do"ideal". Recentes pesquisas, no entanto, atestam que ainda não se conseguiu inventar tal .